Every negative thing that's happened to you is there to point you towards what you want in life.

There are no mistakes. It's all about growing and learning. So let's reframe those negative experiences.

Looking back at "failures" may be a scary process for people who have created bad situations in their life, or if their world is full of things they don't prefer. Most people let these things hold them back. But you are going to use these experiences to move you forward.

I'm going to do a little exercise with you right now. I've used this with lots of my coaching clients, and it will help you understand everything that has ever happened to you in a negative or an unwanted way is leading you to your future.

Get a notebook and a pen.

1. Then take the first page of the notebook page.

2. Fold it in half vertically--crease it.

3. Then on the left side, write:

• Everything in your life that makes you miserable.

• Things you hate or don't prefer.

• All of your regrets.

• Wrongs that have been done to you.

• Any negative thing you don't want in your life.

At this point, you may have several pages of things you want to get rid of in your life. This is rich data, my friend. This exercise is going to release you from all the problems and struggles of your life.

4. Now on the right-hand side of the paper, across from everything that you've listed that you don't want--you're going to list what that experience made you desire.

Let me give you an example of how this exercise worked with one of my clients. It was an "Aha!" moment for her.

She came to me because she was about to get a divorce from her fourth husband, and she felt terrible about herself. She had failed marriages, and society was judging her.

She had focused on the left-hand side of her notebook. So I asked her--what's on the righthand side? The right-hand side is what you learned. What did you know? You learned that you want to have a very successful relationship.

5. Now, back to you! List everything you love now, everything you desire, everything you have clarified about what is important to you.

If you've been with someone who has been mean to you, you're going to want to be with someone nice. If you've been sick or have been out of a job, you're going to desire the opposite.

6. When you're through, I want you to fold that paper in half and tear off that left side. The right side of the paper is now who you are. That's who you are, and that's everything you want out of your life and everything you're going to have now.

7. Finally….ceremoniously discard the left-hand side of the paper. Those experiences have served you well--given you clarity.

Take the right-hand side--there's your blueprint--who you are and where you are going!