Speak Out and Gain Respect
"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. ...You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify and vilify them. The only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward." -Famous Apple Ad.
You want to do something unique with your life:
Start a business.
Get a meaningful job or relationship.
Create something that changes the world.
Awesome! Because your new idea is needed now more than ever.
But trust me, from my own experience, you aren't going to be successful if you can't learn to stand up for yourself and speak up. You will come across as weak, and people will take advantage of you.
Look around you--you admire the troublemaker, the bully, even. Because they are strong, and they get their way. Meanwhile, you are the nice one, but there you are, feeling like the victim, all balled up in the corner while people take advantage of you.
I'm going to teach you the number one skill you need to change this: Don't give a shit about what people think of you.
Because you care too much, you do.
Compassionate disrupters--world changers--are so confident that what they are doing is crucial that they don't care who disagrees with them or stands in their way. So why are we so afraid to speak out?
We don't speak out because our culture taught us it's wrong to do so. We learned to feel guilty or ashamed if we challenged others. Or we don't speak up because we don't know what to say, or we don't know how to assert ourselves.
Not sure what you have to speak up about? Get the guide.
I've often been called into organizations to coach a talented employee the executives would love to promote. However, the person doesn't believe in themselves enough to command the authority needed to move into a power position.
This lack of assertiveness isn't a problem just in business--it shows up repeatedly in my relationship coaching.
You can change this about yourself. You will feel more respectable and confident, and you will have a much more significant impact on the world.
A simple problem to fix, but like all things I teach, you will need to practice standing up for yourself until it becomes second nature.
To be a leader, to create something special you know is essential, practice these steps:
Ask somebody for something every day. This little exercise packs a double punch because it also gets you in the habit of noticing your preferences more.
Offer your opinion. Even if you aren't sure, and even if you don't get the response you want. Practice speaking up, then step back and evaluate how it went. If it didn't go well, you have collected valuable data on how to do it better next time, or perhaps you'll find that you need to be in an environment that is more open to feedback.
Sit (or stand up) straight, look them in the eye, and lean into them when you talk. Body language is essential.
You will feel more confident and be even more skillful if you offer a compliment or validate the other's point of view, then provide your contrary opinion. Dialectical thinking is an advanced step, but you will learn how to validate another's point of view while holding yours tightly.
What will you ask, or what opinion will you express today?
If you disagree with me, feel free to let me know below. I can take it 💪.
Tami Green's brutally honest testimony before Members of Congress led to the Congressional resolution designating May as Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month. Her advocacy, authenticity, and work with others have earned her the title, America's Most Respected Life Coach. Read more about her at https://www.tamigreen.com/about-tami-green
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