Being Okay With Being Okay: Life After Breakups
Guest blogger: Victoria Tate
To the man I hoped to spend forever with:
It’s been awhile since you’ve been gone, and, if we are being honest, it’s been awhile since I’ve been okay. I’ve missed your presence. I’ve missed your touch. I’ve missed your laugh and your smile. I miss you. I miss us.
The scariest part of breaking up with someone very serious is the moment true reality smacks you in the face. First, you go through the weird process of really believing it’s over, and then you grieve your loss. But that isn’t the actual reality. The actual reality is the one that comes right in and hits you is the second you realize that you’ll be okay. After the sadness and the anger and the mourning is over, you realize you are alone and being alone is actually a good thing.
Being with the same person for years and experiencing every single piece of life with them is beautiful. Then it isn’t when it ends. During the mourning the loss of my four year relationship, I took a lot of strength from reading poetry by R.M. Drake. The raw words he uses to express love and loss will dig deep into your bones. He talks so much about the person he loves leaving, but ultimately going through the struggle to find happiness (alone) in the end. No matter how miserable he may feel, he is happy for the one who left and wants nothing more than for her to find what she needs. It’s sort of breathtaking.
Don’t get me wrong, you will feel miserable. And it gets to the point where the misery is comfort because you have some kind of connection to that person through pain and memories.
Then, when you are ready, the time will come when you realize you will be okay. Do you know what okay is? Do you know what it looks like? Probably not. But you will. I am here to tell you that feeling will scare the shit right out of you. It is scary because you realize you have the whole entire world at your feet. Everything is yours for the taking.
I had that feeling a matter of days ago and I didn’t know where to place it. It almost made me mad at myself. Mad because I was willing to let something so beautiful and so painful go. I still don’t know how to cope with this realization because it is probably one of the scariest feelings I’ve ever had. It’s empowering, yes, to realize you are the master of your own destiny. No one tells you it’s also scary as hell.
But, it is also SO beautiful. So be you. Take chances. Be risky. Smile. Life is beautiful.
To the man I won’t be spending forever with:
I want to thank you for the times we shared and the impact you made on me. I want to let you know I wish nothing but the best for you, and there are no hard feelings. Thank you for being you and thank you for letting me be me.
-Christian Nicole
Published on July 18, 2016
http://www.victoria-tate.com/2016/07/being-okay-with-being-okay-life-after-breakups/
For more go to: http://www.victoria-tate.com